Monday, September 22, 2014

Understanding. Finally. Hallelujah.

View from my apartment in Orem. I felt like this post needed a picture. So here you go. 

I am so happy because guess what. Today, 3 1/2 months after I opened my call, I now understand what I was feeling when I opened it. In vain I have struggled... sorry, that was Pride and Prejudice. But really, I have struggled to put words to how I was feeling.

When you're waiting for your call, pretty much everyone has that one place that they are secretly hoping to go to, and then they have that one place that they are resigned to. For me, I wanted to go out of the US and I was resigned to going to Texas. (Disclaimer: I have nothing against Texas. I promise.) A lot of people were getting called to Texas and I figured that I would be one of them. Let's just say I wasn't very happy about that. BUT I had high expectations. I just knew that when I opened my call and my call was to Texas I would have this miraculous confirmation that Texas is where I needed to be and that I would have this sudden surge of love for everything about the state.


When I opened my call I remember my thoughts scrambling as soon as I read "Mexico Saltillo Mission." MEXICO? I was supposed to get called to Texas so I could have this huge humbling experience! I know, my logic is weird. For pretty much the rest of the day I couldn't get a hold on what I was thinking. That's what was the most frustrating. I couldn't form a coherent thought that brought me any sort of comfort. Now I understand that the Holy Ghost was saying: Megan, this is your mission. Step up and take that responsibility.

Responsibility. That's the word. I had already learned through previous experiences to accept what the Lord has to offer without question, so accepting my call was no big deal. I love Mexico, it's part of my culture, I'll feel at home. But man, the feeling of extreme responsibility was a lot to handle. It made every fear become heightened. I hadn't been able to find anyone that had been to my mission because it was only a year old. I had no idea what to expect. I was scared. I was feeling this way for 3 1/2 months. THREE AND A HALF MONTHS. Until I went to my friend's farewell that I mentioned in a previous post.

What I didn't mention in that post is that afterwards when we all gathered at her house to eat, I was sitting with a bunch of her friends. I had no idea who any of them were so Kristan introduced me to them and mentioned that I was going on a mission. When I said that I was going to Mexico one of her friends practically jumped out of his seat and asked me which mission in Mexico. When I said Saltillo he said "THAT'S WHERE I SERVED!!" We both flipped out from excitement and instantly began speaking very animatedly. He told me everything I needed to know and instantly all my fears where gone. It was a miracle at it's finest.

All I have to say is, trust in the Lord. He knows what you need.

Trust in the Lord with all thine heart; and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he shall direct thy paths.
Proverbs 3:5-6

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